I Only Stayed at NTID by @Shad8Black1992

I Only Stayed at NTID for 6 Months (PART 2): Zak Brain Seguin

A thread ⬇️

http://shad8black1992.blog/2022/06/22/i-only-stayed-at-ntid-for-6-months-part-2/


I Only Stayed at NTID for 6 Months (PART 2)


Wow! I can’t believe that it’s already been 10 years in 2021! I’m still OBSESSED with every moment of my college experience from Fall 2011 to Winter 2012. Yeah! I’m consciously overthinking how much I reflect too much on good and bad memories.


But what you’re reading here is probably TOXIC, UNHEALTHY, or REPETITIVE. I was only 19 years old in my naivety of real-world problems on my own after completing my high school diploma.


???‍♂️

– Demetrius Curtis
– Zachary Brain Seguin (Turned Out To Be Pedophile!)
– Missouri Is One of The Worst Education Systems In America
– November 11, 2011 (Flash Drive Problems)
– David Cardona
– Emily Borgel (My VR Counselor From Hell!)


ZACHARY BRAIN SEGUIN


HTTPS://WWW.RECORD-EAGLE.COM/NEWS/LOCAL_NEWS/MAN-APOLOGIZES-FOR-VILE-BEHAVIOR/ARTICLE_B71B5E0A-5B17-5BA8-900E-DE86D704B0DD.HTML


https://mdocweb.state.mi.us/OTIS2/otis2profile.aspx?mdocNumber=300148


I used my DELL laptop to access my Facebook account and digitally interact with Zachary Brain Seguin through the private messaging chatbox. We only did typing and talked to each other through the keyboards and monitors between us.


Zachary doesn’t live where I live, and I didn’t live where he grew up. The internet is the only reason I can talk to people from other countries and 50 states, but NOT in my hometown.


Well, if this helps make sense to the NON-subscribers or enemies of social media platforms who preferred the old-school technologies, I guess. I don’t know.


Our chronological conservations began at 5:51 PM on the 24th of June 2011 and had been going on ever since. I started clicking on the ENTER keyword button of Zak’s name on the Facebook search engine tool and identifying him.


I found him with trepidation, but it wasn’t an automatic feeling of fear. It was a sort of bizarre courage that I felt the need to talk to him.


‘Cause, obviously, I liked him AT THAT TIME.

Shawn: I just have a few quick questions for you…


TYPING ON MY KEYBOARD…

Shawn: Because I had read the RIT policy online. They required all undergraduate students and newcomers to find roommates on the campus for the first year.


I SPENT A BIT MORE TIME TO FINGER-TAP ON MY KEYBOARD.

Shawn: I have no specific person in mind as a potential roommate. You know, for a while there, I thought about you. So…


TYPING SLOWLY…

It’s where my anxiety starts right before I use my fingers to finish the sentences.

Shawn: I wonder if I’m a potential candidate to be your roommate this Fall semester. No? How do you feel about that?


5:52 PM

Zachary Brain Seguin responded, which surprised me because I never expected him to reply so quickly.

Zak: Hey there! Thanks for asking me, bro! Sorry! But I’ve already got my roommate, Mario…


5:55 PM


Shawn: That’s OK, no problem. Just asking around, that’s all. It’s OK to request permission, right? The dormitory staff at the Rochester Institute of Technology wanted to know who I was staying with for my first year.


I’ll contact any person in the FB group who may be interested in sharing a room with me. I’ll figure it out. Not a big deal.


ADDS A SMILEY FACE TO THE TEXT.


I didn’t smile, though. I was sort of disappointed, but I knew Zak would say that. I’ve always had my hopes up for nothing, but now I know he doesn’t want me to be his roommate. I felt like he was trying to PLAY HARD TO GET or whatever his bullshit was about.


HTTPS://WWW.RIT.EDU/NTID/SVP


HTTPS://WWW.RIT.EDU/NTID/ALUMNI/SVP-SIGNS


Shawn: So… How are you doing this summer so far? In your post the other day, I read that you were emotionally distraught and dissatisfied with your hearing losses. Your Deaf identity. Did your family members treat you as inferior to them simply because you’re deaf?


6:02 PM

He texted back my questions.


Zak: Yeah, I’m OK. Thanks for asking that. I was curious what these people thought of my written post in the Facebook Group of NTID’s Summer Vestibule Program 2011. I appreciated all the comments I read.


Yeah, I told everyone that I hated being left out at home because I’m deaf, and my parents couldn’t understand how I felt. We don’t have anything in common!


6:10 PM

I started empathizing with him.

Shawn: I don’t really blame you, Zak!


I texted him after expressing a sigh of MY sympathy.

Shawn: The fact that hearing parents are incapable of fully understanding their children irks me sometimes!


I’M TYPING YET AGAIN…


Shawn: I barely know my dad because I definitely NEVER got to know him. My mother’s family doesn’t learn sign language like I did in my early development school. I have always felt excluded from family holidays, such as Thanksgiving or Christmas.


So much for dinner table syndrome problems! They NEVER treated me like a regular kid. They wouldn’t. When we tried to communicate in Pidgin Signed English, it NEVER seemed to end because we had so many misconceptions and misunderstandings.


Being the black sheep in the whole family is something I despise throughout my childhood!


TYPING THROUGH MY FINGERTIPS AS I ALLOW FEELINGS TO SPEAK FREELY.


Shawn: Sometimes I wish I were like my friends with deaf families or want my family to be deaf like me. Do you have brothers or sisters? Did your parents treat your siblings better when they treated you differently?


6:26 PM


Zak briefly explained that he was occasionally ignored by his family: My parents can communicate with me in American Sign Language, but they aren’t as skillful as I am. Sometimes I get misinformation, and sometimes the accurate information takes so damn long to come in.


I always got left behind or left out of conversations while around them, like I wasn’t there. That makes me so frustrated at times! My sister is also deaf, but we have very different personalities because we’re so fuckin’ different! So that’s all I have to say at this point now.


6:33 PM

Shawn: My mother used ASL, although she’s NOT as proficient as I am because she doesn’t attend my school. What makes you think you’re so different from your sister? Was she, like, completely delusional? Are you a year or two older or younger than she is?


6:36 PM

Zak: Ah, I see. I prided myself on being the extroverted rebel who enjoyed drinking a lot heavier and partying all night long, totally different from my sister and a lot younger! LOL! Um…


6:48 PM


Shawn: Hmm… Interesting… This took my interest because… You remind me of a man named Jace Wayland from the Shadowhunters series, which I just finished three books early on. Jace Wayland had a bad attitude, just like the Spike character on the Buffy TV show in the late 1990s.


The notion of an imaginary character made me chuckle softly as I was texting Zak on my laptop.


Shawn: I wish I could make Jace a real dude! He would probably agree when you say you’re an outgoing rebel. Unlike me, I’m a rebel sometimes, but not for the same reasons as you, like partying or participating in outdoorsy activities.


I WAS A BIT OVERJOYED WHEN I COULD DIGITALLY UPLOAD JACE WAYLAND’S PICTURE AND SHOW IT TO HIM NOW.


6:49 PM

Zak: Well, that picture you sent is pretty hilarious! LOL! What are you up to for the rest of the night now?


6:51 PM

Shawn: I really wish I had never been born in the first place, you know. I made a threat against my science teacher in high school. But I’d already graduated from that shitty school! LOL! Look, I’ve been on probation for two years.


6:55 PM

Zak: Well, yeah. Being on probation is a pain in the ass…


6:58 PM

Shawn: Right, just like that.

With a sigh of disappointment, I shook my head. I wish he could see my face like that, but he’s been texting me instead of video chat.

Shawn: Who cares anyway?


7:04 PM

Zak: Hmm… Yeah. Right.


Well, that’s it… I never heard from him on Facebook again. Until I met him again this Fall Semester on the campus of RIT/NTID. You should know that I first met Zak in July 2010 at the “Explore Your Future” summer camp, taking place at the same campus as we were in that camp.


You can see me hiding somewhere in this video, but you probably won’t find me here.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/KuO7faVECJw?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en&autohide=2&wmode=transparentIf






The Summer Vestibule Program 2011 at NTID


After spending two weeks of SVP 2011 (transition to the community college) in Rochester, New York, I was more than pleased to meet Zak again. Sadly, it turned out to be a brief interaction with him. Like, “hello” or “wassup” or “good night.” That was it.


Leaning towards the end of August, I BARELY see him much around me. He’s so distant from me with his new friends, Mario and his girlfriend. So I was scared of rubbing him the wrong way or giving him a bad impression.


It’s one of the reasons why I have social skills problems and anxiety disorders. So I waited until finding the right time to talk to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TNasVG4gfU


ON THE EVE OF SEPTEMBER 7th, 2011


Every day, I had to travel an incredibly great distance to eat at Gracie’s restaurant. Underground Tunnels under seven, six, or seven dormitories on my way from NTID to GRACIE’S dinner room seemed like endless time spent walking through the maze.


I felt like it was forever and forever in the tunnels. This sometimes gives me the impression of Stephen King’s movie, The Shining, where two little girls were standing so far away from you at the end of the hall, which is pretty surreal.


It’s like that tunnel stretches so damn far away from me if you try to hurry to catch up but keep getting behind. This is what it feels like.


This evening, I talked to Zak in the underground passageways. He put an immediate end to conservation between him and me in a way that I didn’t like. His touching my shoulder was confusing, insulting, and subliminal.


We were only a couple of distances from the Laundromat in the underground tunnels. I thought now was the perfect time to invite him on a romantic date.  It didn’t go according to my plan, and it didn’t work out because…


Zak: “No, not at all. I’m not part of the LGBTQ community. I appreciate you asking me out. Good luck finding your future husband. There are plenty of singles out here in the RIT!”

Shawn: “Wait a second! Not so fast!”


I was kind of speechless, and I couldn’t adequately express my frustrating thoughts in ASL.

Shawn: “But… I thought you were queer, right? No?”

Zak scoffs at the thought of being queer and chuckles feebly. He shakes his head, implying he’s NOT who I thought he was.


Zak: “Now I understand why you believe such a thing. Everyone assumes I’m gay because I have hands so limply, although I’m naturally seen as effeminate and emasculating. Everyone told me I wasn’t manly enough. I have a feminine side, but I never let anyone define who I am.


Sorry to disappoint you.”


I was a bit puzzled by that statement. It was a bit understated.

Zak: “I already have a girlfriend. That blonde I hang out with, haven’t you met her already? You may have seen her walk with me a few times, right?”


Shawn: “Yes, I’ve seen her around you, but I thought she was your high school classmate.”

Zak: “She’s still hangin’ out with me. She always comes into my bedroom every now and then. We’re for real, I’m telling you! Seriously!”


Shawn: “Are you still in the closet? So you faked being straight every time I run into you? Every time you see me, right?”

I just wondered that invisibly scratching my head skeptically. Something’s not right with this guy. What is he hiding?


Zak: “I promise you, I’m not pretending at all! I’m not trying to cut you off. It’s no secret I’m hetero. I imagine you haven’t even thought about asking me before. You should have asked me like we did on Facebook recently in July, and I would have told you already.”


Zak politely rejected the idea of dating me, but why did I feel he was lying? I don’t think he sees me as attractive just because I’m black and turtle-faced. I’m not sure I’m his type, to be quite honest. I didn’t even want to ask him because I knew what he would say.


So I don’t ask.


Zak started fondling my shoulder like I was his sick, dying dog who had to be put to death. He pitifully patted my shoulder without saying words in ASL. Why does it feel like I’m being euthanized by animal doctors? I don’t like the way he put his hand on my shoulder.


It’s like saying goodbye with a sad smile.


Zak walks backward a few steps. I wasn’t really pleased with how he left me here in the hall. That’s when I saw him deflect his head off me and lift the hood off his back. I stood right there looking at him with a disgusted expression on my face.


He is peacefully departing this hall for his next destination like a winner. After he left, I was still reeling from what he had said. It didn’t get any weirder, did it?


IN SIX MONTHS AT RIT/NTID


Zak and I haven’t talked together in the six months I spent on the RIT/NTID campus, and I didn’t share any classes with him. I’ve NEVER been to a lecture course with him. Regardless of what he’s doing every damn day, I’m fully conscious that Zak was a frequent visitor to NTID.


Like me, where we always went to classes every day in the same building. There are many different buildings on the campus!


Another reason I stopped liking Zak was that I saw and caught him calling Dorian Wallace a “nigga” in American Sign Language. He was using the N-word on his nose to mock Dorian Wallace.


I haven’t seen precisely what Dorian was saying to him earlier, but something is happening between them. Dorian joked about Michigan (Zak’s home state) as stupid. But I remember Zak throwing shade at him with a sinister smile as if he wanted to kill and taunt him.


Zak: “Nigga St Louis, ghetto.”


I don’t recall that specifically. I remember seeing him signing the N-word on his nose. First time I’ve ever seen him use “nigga” on his nose in front of me! When Zak realized I caught him saying it, he quickly apologized to me. He was pretty defensive of himself.


Zak: “Oh, I forgot that you were here. I had no idea you were the one looking at me like that. Don’t take it personally; it’s not meant to be offensive. It’s not for you; it’s for him.”


IN MY MIND, I WANTED TO SAY: For Dorian? To get insulted? Really? You think I ain’t black enough? Is that because I’m using the white ASL? Is it because I don’t act like a real nigga? UH???


I actually didn’t say that to him. I was speechless, that’s all. I didn’t call him out. I did NOTHING to stop him. I didn’t even report on him. 10 years later, I regretted learning that I didn’t report on him, but I should’ve done that already.


HEY ZAK, IF YOU’RE READING THIS!


How come white people like you always say “no offense” before insulting someone in front of me? I still won’t put up with your racist joke! I don’t give a fuck if you find it funny! I’ve long wondered if you were really racist when you rejected going out with me on a date.


You didn’t want to say it in front of me, but maybe, you called me “nigga” behind my back when I wasn’t around. Right? You know, that’s EXACTLY what I thought!


Upon my further realization, you’re NOT only a racist but also a pedophile! Wow! It is due to your damning white privilege. Wow! So I wondered what your thoughts are on the pedophile jokes people come up with these days.


Do you enjoy giving attention to your enemies, making horrible jokes about you after they figure out what you did illegally? So, if you don’t like being laughed at or disparaged, you should’ve been LESS and LESS racist years ago!


If you weren’t racist, maybe you could’ve avoided being a pedophile as well. Maybe, maybe NOT!


Oh, wait a minute! I nearly forgot about telling you something! If the time machine is real, or if I travel in time using astral projection. I would be very interested in going back in time to 2011. I would have approached you and…


Shawn: “Oh, you’re trying to be cute with me while you’re using the N-word. Really? OK… Here comes your suffering and failure!”

I would’ve told you in front of Dorian Wallace. He would be laughing at you!


Shawn: “You’ll be a pedophile by 2016. Wait. No offense, but you’ll lose everything. Everything you were planning on doing at the university will be canceled. You’re going to lose all your friends, your family, your teachers, and all those who matter to you.


The rest of this thread can be read here:

http://shad8black1992.blog/2022/06/22/i-only-stayed-at-ntid-for-6-months-part-2/


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