I understand the concern, and certainly to heap abrasive language on people and to try to shame them does make people feel ‘erased’. It is wrong—and lots of traditional churches have done that egregiously.
But in the end, everyone asks people to ‘fit in’ to their community or leave it. Every community—including exevangelicals—has boundaries, gate-keepers, heresies and orthodoxies, and ways of exercising constraint on members’ behavior and language.
We all have standards about what is healthy sexuality and what is good for people—mine are different than yours. We must urge people to align with the community standards in a non-abusive way—but to do that urging is an unavoidable reality and does not constitute "erasure."
