I got married to my friend but after we got married, we stopped being friends. Let me tell you a short story.
My wife is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Apart from sharing the same value system, she understands herself and me a lot! But, no matter how good you and your spouse are, there are principles that when disobeyed, your marriage will be a mess.
My wife is the kind of person that confronts someone when they do something she doesn’t like. She doesn’t pretend. On the other hand, I can swallow stuff because ‘I don’t like wahala/disagreements’. Over the years, even before we got married, when my wife does something…
…I don’t like, I often didn’t talk about it because I wasn’t in the mood for an argument. Unknown to me, the tiny hurts I thought I let go of were piling up somewhere in my heart and before I knew it, I became resentful toward her.
She knew something was wrong and she kept asking me cos my reactions were irrational at many points. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t place what it was. Fam, it almost ruined my marriage. My wife was tired! I was drained!
When we were about to reach the breaking point, we decided to seek a marriage counsellor who helped us. Let me tell you something, marriage counsellors are good. They’ll help you if you want to be helped. Seeking a marriage counsellor means you care about your marriage.
Some people have tried so many things on their own but it didn’t work? Why not seek professional help? I’ll always advice this. The counselling process made me realize some things dat were wrong with me & my marriage. We were reminded of our love languages but what changed...
…everything for us was we discovering and learning our Apology Languages. Many people don’t know there’s something like an apology language; the way you want or like to be apologized to. I found out that the real reason why I wasn’t sharing those little hurts was cos…
…I felt my wife won’t apologize to me the way I wanted to be apologized to. So, I kept the pain. We fixed up, forgave ourselves and began building our friendship afresh. Now, my wife is My GEE! My mannest G!!! I don’t keep any hurt from her. I tell her regardless of how I…
…feel or the discomfort and we trash it. I would love for this friendship to be forever but even if it gets tested, I know for sure we will fix it. Friendship in marriage is beautiful and I hope you do everything in your power to have that in yours. Happy Sunday 🙌🏾
