On a cool Sunday morning at DLBC @faithchurchak, our very own father and shepherd, PT @TobeNnadozie shared an A to Z rundown of what love is definitely NOT. I'll now share a thread of his words (with a bit of spice from me.) INGREDIENTS THAT CAN NEVER BE MISSING IN TRUE LOVE?
A. Appreciation: some folks have entitlement mentality and act as if you owe them. Thus, they never show gratitude; they don't love you. B. Backbone: some people can never stand by you. When small wind of life blow, they have disappeared. That's not love.
Correction: when someone says, oh, my love for you is so strong that I don't know how to tell you when you're wrong, that is not love. Decision: some have friendzoned who they claim to love, and will never take the next step or leave you alone. That's not love. It's witchcraft.
Expression: love must have evidence. Show it. There's nothing like low-key love, you've got to let the person know. Fellowship: some claim to love you, but they will say they like being a loner. They just want to be on their own; that's not love.
Giving: some folks will never solve obvious needs despite being able to help. They will only say, 'Eiyaah'. Well, sympathy is not love. Holiness: true love will want you to live right with God. Anything outside this is not love. If a person turns you against God, it's hatred.
Impact: since you've met this person, what have they changed in your life? Do they share opportunities with you, pray for you? Or it's just gossip and cruise. Joy: the essence of love is happiness. When all you feel is fear when they're around, I'm sorry, that's surely not love.
Knowledge: a person who loves you should know about your struggles, pain and needs. So many besties on this table, and all they know about each other is surface information that can be found on ID card or undergraduate biodata form.
Loyalty: when the person is absent, do you defend them or join others to laugh and mock them? And then later be forming fake love and friendship? Manners: apart from simple courtesy you'll show those you love, love must be without toxicity and a great level of deep respect.
Neighbourliness: if you are the kind of person who always brings chaos & enmity anywhere you are, you have no love. Openness: love shows in a person's willingness to open up to you about their pain. If you often discover things about them from others, check well. It's not love.
Purpose: you ask, 'why do you love me?' And they reply, 'I just love you', it's a lie! That only exists in novels. Purposeless love attracts purposeless arrows. Quality: there are some love that are so shallow. Just mere words of mouth. No depth, nothing. That's not real love.
Responsibility: some people claim to love, but they always avoid responsibility. They make recommendations but never participate in the action. Sacrifice: throughout scriptures & history, love has been show by sacrifice. If you're unwilling to give anything up, you don't love.
Thoughtfulness: this is called being intentional. Put some thoughts into the existence and need of the person you love. Put them in your heart and think of them. Uprightness: if you're still lying, whether red, half or white lie, there's no love there. Love is honest and true.
Value: since the day you said you love me, what have you added to my life? In the past 10 years, have you spent 1 hour to pray for me? Do you know about my future plans? Works: love is not just a word. It is an action. You have to demonstrate it and put some effort into it.
Xpectation: naturally, when you love people, you expect to fulfil some roles in their life. And this goes both ways. Yearning: for true love, there is always the desire to stay in touch. Whether via calls, texts, or visitations, love brings some longing to check up on people.
Zest: zest means enthusiasm. When you are around people you love, there should be a good level of 'ginger' and good vibes. You should enjoy the company of a loved one. . PS: X, Y&Z are my additions. Thanks for reading. You can find the full message here:
youtu.be/4Z6h7x8vLFs
